Okay, today is not a good day. For the last week or so I have had a Fibro flare up. Not sure if it is stress or what. It feels like I have been run over by a car again and again and again. It hurts to walk, sit, lay down...even breathe (ok, not breathing but you get my point). I am going to see a Rhumetologist Monday and a Chronic Pain Specialist on Wednesday. I am hoping they can devise a pain management plan that actually works! The argument with hubby yesterday doesn't help either. He is feeling the stress of not having a job that pays all the bills, having to be the only driver...etc. My health issues are taking its toll on him and it is becoming evident to all of us. He does the best he can, but feels like it is not enough and the fact that he can do nothing to help me (physically)...the feeling of being helpless...is really getting to him. Then I have to see the Gastroenterologist next Thursday to find out why my ALP level is almost 250 (not good). I am scarred to death about what he will tell me. I force myself to get out of bed everyday. I make the beds, clean house...etc so that I do not just crawl into bed and stay there (which is what I want to do). That is not healthy at all, to just lay there day after day...depression will set in and I refuse to let that happen. But it is just hard because I hurt so bad all the time.
Well, I need to get back to my writing...that is my outlet. I can step out of my world into a world of fantasy where I am not disabled and can accomplish anything without pain. :) I think all chronic pain sufferers need an outlet like that.
Will write again later on. :)
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